Saturday, July 12, 2008

KABOBfest Henchman Attacks Me

Last night I was brutally attacked by a friend of Will's after refusing to take down KFW.

Though I don't know the culprit personally, I've met him before -- back when I used to write for KABOBfest. He goes by the name of Abed or "Wolf."

Upon leaving an event in the Chinatown area of the District of Columbia, I spotted "Wolf" standing outside a local adult DVD store. He instantly recognized me and began hurling racial comments my way.

Out sized, I did not answer and continued on my way. That's when the chase began.

Three blocks later I stopped to catch my breath and he pounced on me. He began to violently slap, punch, and even bite me. I screamed for help, but it was late and nobody was around to come to my aid.

The entire time I was being assaulted, he was threatening to kill me if I didn't take down KABOBfestWATCH. Here is a picture of one of my injuries -- a bite mark:



I have already filed a complaint with city police. I will continue to update our viewers as more information becomes available. Please pray for me.

UPDATE: I discovered four more scratches on my back. More evidence of the violent fanatics that comprise KABOBfest.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh wow dude, that's crazy. hope you're doing ok. get a rabies test - you never know with those KFers. LOL

Anonymous said...

It figures they'd resort to violence. After all, they do support terrorism.

ally said...

Oh wow! Are you alright?

Abed said...

Are you sure you didn't insult the wolf? A different version of the story on the streets is that you stole the wolf's meat.

Will said...

This is a scurrilous account. You challenged Wolf to a wrestling match. There were many witnesses. And when you go toe-to-toe with a Wolf, you are bound to get bit!

Abed said...

He did challenge the wolf, and the wolf attacked the only way a wolf knows how...with fierce and devastating wolf blows.

QuiQui said...

I thought Abed still had a few more nights until he came out to play this month.

Abed said...

Wolves don't have a set time to come out and play. Thats what makes them wolves.

Programmer Buydatti said...

LIES! LIES! LIES! Well, at least my bruises don't lie. I challenged no one. Abed bit me so viciously. The police are investigating as we speak -- you animal!

Programmer Buydatti said...

And thank you Ally for your concern. When will you leave those disgusting KABOBfest bloggers alone and come blog for KFW?

Abed said...

Good...call the cops...I will tell them how you tried to get me into the backseat of your 1989 Buick LaSabre...after I refused you attacked me, like an animal...I had to fight you off and keep driving.

Anonymous said...

Is this legit? If so, not only a criminal investigation, but also a civil suit is warranted.